Every husband & wife works towards making their relation better & stronger, at all levels of busy schedules and priorities, to the deep level of breath;
As husband / wife would have bird eye view on lot of different things across lot of different lines;
If certain things are happening, most probably those are habits out of Love & the time,
Most probably those are time bound cautious decisions and may differ at later stage of time for everyones good,
If certain things are not happening, Most probably those are cautiously ignored
Let’s cherish the marriage as whatever it has to offer at any given time
When you meet a Husband, talk good about his Wife
When you meet a Wife, talk good about her Husband
When you see both, talk good about their marriage
If you want either of them to improve, suggest 1:1 as appropriate; Follow the golden rule of “praise in public; criticize in private”
Even then, Ensure advising tone if you need to and not Provocating tone
If you have any comments about either husband side or wife side family members; do not follow the easy route to talk to other partner as that may turn as provocative for the marriage. Follow the efficient way of talking to husband for the concerns about husband side family member and talking to the wife regarding the wife side family member so things can be improved more Swiftly & Harmonious way in & around the marriage
If either of them contacts you, check what efforts have been put to talk to / discuss with / listen to the views of his/her own better half & family members And to understand their emotional journey, as it is not your movie, it is theirs. Just be calm listener and control your own chimp
Highlight & Talk positive about his/her family members & in-laws efforts, build empathy, everyone can not be perfect all the time
If you want to brain storm around ideal marriage, write a blog instead of debating about a particular marriage or with any husband/wife about their marriage , as that will affect the existing congruity & process and will impact the plans of adoptions towards improvisations
Likewise, if you have some concerns about your own marriage; then do not take the frustration out on someone else marriage based on the partial image you see, as that is again provocation
Be the friend of the marriage. Be the friend of the family, Be the friend of the wider family
Every Marriage is Unique and an Organization in itself, with moving parts & challenges & goals. Progressively evolving yet diversified. It will be presented with different questions to be resolved for the husband & wife
You do not know the complete journey and the detailings, which leaves you at no eligibility to judge / comment
Do not be judgemental
Do not jump to conclusions
There is very thin line between being supportive and turning provocative
If you are aware of some of the trigger words or topics which aggravates the situations, then coduct carefulness to not bring or to not encourage any of those topics or words and practice carefully skipping or maneuvering
Promoting & Practicing Equality starts at own Home
For example, My wife acts as Owner & Manager for below departments; while still managing her career track
Wearing, Health, Beauty, Gift, Donation, Party, Gardening
These departments have evolved over the years in terms of Financial models, Budgets, Fair distribution of equity, Reconciliations
Since courtship & thoughout marriage, I have ensured that I am more giving to my wife in terms of financial benefits, ownerships or shareholdings of assets
We act as true partner in Financial Investments and other Departments including Kids management
I like setting short-term, mid-term, long-term goals with kids to raise & achieve to their full potentials and to proactively facilitate and to unblck the obstacles
On study front, I enjoy assisting in Science, History While my wife likes assisting in Maths
I have been doing morning duties of the kids throughout all these years and afternoon school picks / activities runs, when I am at home
While, I am still learning from my wife the versatility in household chore and trying to increase my efforts throughput %
For initial 10years of married life, My wife has been instrumental in Divine selfless way, in my family building goals commitments which I spoke to my wife during courtship. Like wise I have been proactively compensating with reciprocity and efforts
As on professional front, I value the support shown by my certain colleagues in certain times. Likewise on Family front, I tried to appreciate the support shown by my wife during difficult phases and to compliment I practiced below different modes of efforts streams,
- Such as
- Promoting More liberalism & freedom in home finance model
- Taking Strong stands on domestic fronts to support her personal & career growth
- Staying No emphasis on budgeting or finance reconciliations
- Playing More active role in kids upbringing, activities, education and nourishing environment
- Ensuring No stressful investments initiations by me
- Representing my by-birth family and creating & building relationships in wider & extended family, Focused more on wife’s side families during certain years
- Focusing more on 1:1 bonding with my wife, kids
- Shashank.
Working towards the betterment of the family; With Protect-Lead-Assist strategy to achieve their individual goals and the family-wide collective goals
as a loving & dutiful lover and as a loving & dutiful husband towards Mrs Yogita
as a loving & dutiful Father of a Daughter and a Son
as a loving & dutiful Elder son towards my Father & my Mother (whose professions & service to people; have been respected & benefitted by many people)
as a loving & dutiful Brother
as a loving & dutiful Brother-in-law to my Brother’s wife
as a loving & dutiful Grand-Son
as a loving & dutiful Nephew
as a loving & dutiful Cousin
as a loving & dutiful family member to the extended family of Shetye
as a loving & dutiful son-in-law to all core & extended by-birth family of Yogita
and as an equally loving Friend
and Practicing as a full promoter of Honesty, Trust, Transparency, Consent, Freedom to act, Righteous stand across all my responsibilities & duties
I am blessed to have the extremely hard-working & determined Life Partner. And she is the Hero of my marriage
When you meet us, we prefer –
To spend nice time as family meeting and to depart as Happier Family
- No Husband v/s Wife !
- No Girls v/s Boys !
- No Woman v/s Man !
- No good things to talk about own or other’s Husband -> No Problem -> Rather keep mouth shut 🙂
- No good things to talk about own or other’s Wife -> No Problem -> Rather keep mouth shut 🙂
- No good things to talk about Self or other couple -> No Problem -> Rather keep mouth shut 🙂
- No teasing of own or other’s Husband on someone else’s Wife
- No teasing of own or other’s wife on someone else’s Husband
- No good things to talk about own or other’s Kids -> No Problem -> Rather keep mouth shut 🙂
- Q4 – 2024 – Current Goals:
- Managing Financial Crunch – AMBER (Risk: Liabilities + Expense v/s Inflow + Savings)
- Sell BTL Asset – GREEN (In-Progress)
- India Tax filings – RED (Risk: Delayed 3Yr Backlog)
- UK Tax filings – GREEN (Yet To Start)
- Support Wife in her career & individual goals – GREEN (On Track)
- Target own Weight Loss & Get Off BP, Sugar Tablets & GERD, improve overall – GREEN (On Track)
- Steering Father’s Diabetic, Cardiac, Dialysis Health issues, along with Brother & Support Mother in any assistance towards it – GREEN (On Track)
- Any adhoc assistance towards relatives & extended families – GREEN (On Track)
- Retain Calmness & Peace in Home. Retain & improve Mental Health, Especially Combating any bullying around Self, Marriage, Family Members, Relationships And GOALS – – GREEN (On Track)
- Goals Completed 2024
- Achieving new role in the current Finance domain career
- Daughter’s GCSE assistance and lining up the volunteering work
- BTL eviction process
- BTL repair / replace works
- BTL Tenancy Or Sell Decision
- Remortgages
- Assist Father in his Goal, along with Brother to organize ancestor inheritance formalities for the core & wider extended families
|| Jay Shri Ram ||